Introducing Salad Fingers… an episode guide.

We love this creepy little guy over at the Gore Splattered Corner, twisted brainchild of David Firth  and Christian Crust Pickup, and voiced by Firth, Salad Fingers was an Internet sensation when first released with episodes dated 2004-2011. Living in a strange world with monsters and people who talk in radio static and screeching voices, with some brilliantly named finger puppets thrown in, and a dead body, we follow Salad Fingers, with his love of rusty spoons and nettles in a series of short episodes. Creepy music, dark themes, bizarre concepts, and amazing dialogue, the world of Salad Fingers is very disturbing indeed.

Have a look at David Firth’s website http://www.fat-pie.com/ for some of his other amazing creations, and some cool merchandise too.

Check out our episode guide below…

Episode one…Spoons

We meet the morose green fella in his post apocalyptic world where everything is a bit drab as he discusses his love of rusty spoons and how he likes to touch them with his salad fingers. He meets a monster with googly eyes and states he has come to enquire about the spoons to which the monster responds in a weird screeching voice. Salad Fingers leaves, but not before caressing a rusty kettle on his way out…

Episode 2… Friends

We meet Salad Fingers with his finger puppet friends, Hubert Cumberdale, Marjory Steward Baxter and Jeremy Fisher, after briefly tasting them all (Marjory Stewart Baxter you taste like sunshine dust, Hubert Cumberdale you taste like soot and poo!), he invites them all to dinner as he has a fish in the oven, then talks to them in French. Salad Fingers struggles to get his fish and calls for help, attracting a very freaked out looking boy who he invites to crawl in the oven. But he gets distracted when he cuts his fingers and drifts off into a dream world where he is in a meat locker with a life sized Hubert Cumberdale who communicates with him in radio static.  On coming round he sees his fish may be overdone as smoke billows from his oven…

Episode 3…Nettles

It isn’t just rusty spoons which Salad Fingers loves, here he discusses his love for nettles, and how he loves to rub them on his nipples to ‘make the milk come’. Retreating to his house with the nettles in a pram he seems oblivious to an armless monster who is pursuing him while mooing like a cow. After killing himself by headbutting the door the monster is finally discovered and named by Salad Fingers Milford Cubicle, who brings him in and hangs him on a meat hook to play the flute at him. As with most episodes Salad Fingers seems completely unable to distinguish between alive or dead or inanimate objects seeing them all as real.

Episode 4… Cage

The episode starts with Salad Fingers sporting a beret and discussing how he wants to find France, but he is put off when he spies a strange looking monster with misshapen eyes looking at him, who he refers to as a child. He retreats to his home and talks to a woodlouse who he addresses as sister and has named Bordois, inadvertently crushing his pet he declares he shall not play with her anymore until she has a wash as she is all gooey. Salad Fingers is then distracted by a grubby tap which has been left outside his door and realising the potential to fulfil the dream of marrying a tap one day he takes up pursuit as the tap gets dragged off through the forest. After being trapped by the same misshapen eyed monster who has obvious amorous persuasions toward Salad Fingers, Salad Fingers decides he does not want to play anymore and is going home…

Episode 5… Picnic

Salad Fingers is desperate to get hold of his old pal Charlie by phone as he is holding a grand picnic and has made Derby scones, but he suspects he has been cut off and gives up. He then produces finger puppet Hubert Cumberdale who he now calls Barbara Logan Price and he awards a friend hat, a small sailors type hat, which provokes the need for some nautical whistling and dialogue from Salad Fingers. At the picnic a girl in a pink dress arrives who appears mute at first, and Salad fingers seemingly impressed elects her his new playmate, as Marjory Stewart Baxter watches from the window. After feeding his new friend pease pudding a crow takes off with the spoon and the girl begins to speak English. Salad Fingers does not like this and retreats to his shack to hide…

Episode 6…Present

Salad Fingers finds Hubert Cumberdale who is lurking on the top of a cupboard, and orders him to come down at once, to which Hubert turns into a black liquid and oozes down. He then speaks to Jeremy Fisher who he says he thought was out fighting the great war, to which Jeremy responds in a weird language. Salad Fingers is now in possession of a toy horse and is suitably impressed, but not before eating Jeremy Fisher. After preparing his horse for the great race, Salad Fingers sets off and discovers a toilet in the middle of nowhere. He plays in the water toying with the idea that there may be enough water in there to wash his petticoat, but becomes distressed and starts arguing into the toilet and flushes it, deciding its time to return home. In the surreal scene which follows Salad Fingers confronts himself as Jeremy Fisher and ends up eating his own head…

Episode 7…  Shore Leave

We begin with Salad Fingers and Marjory Stewart Baxter as Salad Fingers eats dirt from a hole before concluding the floor sugar does taste queer. He then stumbles across a rotting corpse who he discovers in a hole, mistaking it for his brother Kenneth back from the Great War and takes in to give him a nice warm bath. After preparing Kenneth in a suit Salad Fingers then proceeds to make him a dinner of sand. Over dinner Salad Fingers, again joined by Marjory delights in reminiscing about how they used to frollick and he sets off in a dreamlike sequence, where he chides a tree named Mr Branches for having barely moved an inch. Returning to the dinner table Salad Fingers is annoyed with his brother for not having finished his Beef Stroganoff and refuses him any pudding before returning him to his grave stating he is setting off back to the Great War, and singing We’ll Meet Again. This then turns into a scene of Salad Fingers on stage singing the song, while wearing a dress, but he stops when he decides the piano player is playing in the wrong key…

Episode 8… Cupboard

Salad Fingers sits in front of his radio ‘Roger’ discussing how he likes to listen to the war but unable to tune in, not surprising the radio has no back, he feeds the radio with small stones, stating Roger gets ‘a little uppity when he hasn’t had his sustenance’. This seems to do the trick as Roger starts to omit a strange static noise, but Salad Fingers is none too impressed describing it as an unpleasant broadcast. After receiving a nasty shock from Roger, Salad Fingers goes to hide in his safety cupboard, where he enacts out an unpleasant conversation with his fingers between Penny Pigtails and a market trader that makes him cry. All is not lost though when he comes across a stray hair to add to his collection after wiping it over his eyeball and drawing blood. We then move to Salad Fingers lying on the bed with Hubert singing there were three in the bed before flicking Hubert into a dirty chamberpot and demanding he cleans himself up. As Salad Fingers tries to get some sleep his is disturbed by Roger the radio who is omitting a loud frequency, but when Salad Fingers tries to tell him off for causing a row, the radio starts to speak back to him demanding he clean the house, and asking for his hairs back. Salad Fingers then eats the hair collection and retreats to his cupboard.

Episode 9… Letter

Salad Fingers reads a ‘letter’ from a newspaper clipping which is apparently from The Great War, wishing him well, during which a tree branch comes creeping in through the door. This is quickly dispatched when Salad Fingers bites a large chunk off, and after looking out the window sees it has come from Mr Branches the tree. On going outside Mr Branches has grown a face and talks to Salad Fingers in a child’s voice, to which he is not impressed and returns to the house. We then see Salad Fingers sat on his bed lamenting his time may be up and he clutches his stomach, before a load of black liquid belches out of him. On coming round he discovers a strange black object covered in his stomach tar which he mistakes for a baby and names Yvonne, which he places in a hole in the ground supported by a stick. Salad Fingers now appears in a wheelchair and after peeling back his skin from his fingers and dipping them in tar uses them as a pen to write to The War, stating he is still under the weather. He is annoyed by baby Yvonne and talks sternly to her in her hole in the ground saying she should be doing her exercises, discussing her apathy with Majory. Salad Fingers is noticebly unwell as he lies on his floor with a strange pump contraption poking out of him, and he laments to Yvonne, now in a box full of tar, that he may be too unwell to care for her. Setting off in his wheelchair with a bucket on his lap Salad Fingers comes across the same googly eyed monster from the first episode who he addresses as Auntie Bainbridge. Revealing that his bucket contains the ‘baby’ Yvonne he proceeds to wash the monsters windows with it, covering them in black tar.

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Categories: Anime, Articles, Comedy Horror

2 replies

  1. I love the Salad Fingers series. This and Burnt Face Man were my two favorite flash animated series’.

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